Love Is A Fantasy - wondaboysays

 Sometimes love often feels like a dream to me. Intangible and imaginative.


In my past relationships and flings, I always fantasized what the man before me actually was to me and put them on too high of a pedestal. Craving him, nursing him, providing for him, as if we were married for 10+ years with 4 adopted kids, 2 dogs and a 3 level townhome. Whole time we've only been talking for a week. I know there are SO many people like me that see others through rose colored glasses, envisioning a picturesque romance filled with drama and passion after only 1-3 dates (I think after the second date I begin to fold). It could be due to a lack of attention or romantic affection as a youth, low self-esteem, unrealistic conceptions of love from others/media, trauma, or some other crippling cognitive distortion, but for me, I just simply wish to experience love. In a way I've never experienced before.

I want the romances that I enter to grow bigger and stronger, with each passing one. I want to FEEL the passion so deeply I get lost in myself and many times, so do the men I'm with. All of my past flings felt like a rocket taking off, quick with a powerful gusto, and if it wasn't like that I'd have a habit of forcing it creating tension. But like I said, those moments were me trying to live the fantasy and play pretend. I'm more consciously aware now that I was never truly "in love" with any of those dudes and realized that without a sense of discernment and patience when courting a lover, you won't ever see them for who they really are and therefore make proper decisions about them.

Contrarily, in the words of Gaga... "I'm a free bitch baby!" Super fine, super young, and super fucking lit! I'm grateful I have the time to have fun and live more of life and I won't let it go to waste. But it pays to have the knowledge of what REAL love looks like. So when a special man comes into my life and shows me not just his passion and lust for me, but also his affection and commitment, I'll be ready...

 to absolutely terrorize him. >:)


your new favorite street rat blogger

Stoney <3

(P.S. - thank you so much for reading this unknown person! I appreciate you and love you)

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