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The Importance of Community | wondaboysays

(8/9/25) During my brief period of unemployment, I partied vigorously. Engaged in pleasant convos with some wonderful people, fab drinks, and powerful ass shaking. I’ve been using this time to work on my social skills, get connected with others like me building more genuine relationships and now, I can understand more why it’s so important to find community in safe spaces. Personally, I found the most comforting feeling being the visibility by likeminded souls. Knowing that I can talk to other black gay men that have my sense of humor, my sense of joy, and my struggles to be understood. It also helps to make one feel more accepted in society. It all sounds cliche to me and definitely makes me feel more like a baby gay than I actually am, but maybe that’s what happens when you’re isolated for too long from your community. You start to become to attached to the idea of being alone to the point you forget the rest of society exists and that there’s no one else to reach you. That daily dos...
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The Word is Maggots - wondaboysays

TW : The characteristics of maggots are discussed throughout this piece. If you are sensitive to such content, I suggest you not continue. The theme of the week is maggots. Yes, those disgusting larval parasites that grow and feed in warm, decayed environments including humans (myiasis).  According to an informative Brittanica post by Anna Dubey, this form is several stages in the development of flies where they have nothing but grubby little bodies and hooks for mouths to ingest decaying organic matter, after hatching from eggs (2025). Subtypes of maggots consume a variety of different dead cells from plants to animal feces, or interchangeably both, and are even found to fester within untreated open wounds in humans/animals (2025). Anyways... I bring this info to you because all this week the topic of maggots has been constantly coming up in discussion and media around me, while simultaneously undergoing multiple transitions like leaving my job, recognizing my bias for sexual rela...
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Love Is A Fantasy - wondaboysays

 Sometimes love often feels like a dream to me. Intangible and imaginative. In my past relationships and flings, I always fantasized what the man before me actually was to me and put them on too high of a pedestal. Craving him, nursing him, providing for him, as if we were married for 10+ years with 4 adopted kids, 2 dogs and a 3 level townhome. Whole time we've only been talking for a week. I know there are SO many people like me that see others through rose colored glasses, envisioning a picturesque romance filled with drama and passion after only 1-3 dates (I think after the second date I begin to fold). It could be due to a lack of attention or romantic affection as a youth, low self-esteem, unrealistic conceptions of love from others/media, trauma, or some other crippling cognitive distortion, but for me, I just simply wish to experience love. In a way I've never experienced before. I want the romances that I enter to grow bigger and stronger, with each passing one. I want...
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These Hoes Are Tryna Take Us Out

For the past week, i've been digging it out with one of the biggest divas that ever existed to man...  Strep throat. Like she really mopped the fuck out of me. And my co-worker called it a disease for babies. Self-esteem tanked </3. She, Covidia, and Allerginia have been headlocking people and taking them down for weeks now, nasty queens. Everyone keep yourselves and loved ones safe, protected, and get vaccinated if you need to! These illnesses are still going around beating people up and hospitalizing folks, and I'm speaking up my testimony! Stay safe out there! Stoney <3
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Love After Hook-up -wondaboysays

I'm just gonna out and say it: I don't believe gay men can find love with a guy they just hooked up with from an app. I'm sure a lot of people would disagree and give me the "love can find you at any moment" spiel, but just let me speak. Connecting with a man intending to only have sex with him, is not a foundation to build any sort of relationship. It's strictly lustful. There are so many stories of men falling in love with their Grindr hookup but why have your first impression of your partner be their body and not their mind or personality? I would be embarrassed to tell other people that I met my man on Sniffies like... what the hell? Be fucking for real. All that being said, if you did find your partner through hooking up and are in a strong loving relationship, then kudos to you. I don't have a problem with love growing from strange places, I just question if a relationship stemming from sex is sustainable. Noted by Stoney <3
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A Message to Addicts -wondaboysays

Addiction is a bitch. My heart and prayers go out to everyone in the fight against it and to the loved ones of an addict. Neither of those positions are easy. Especially to my black LGBTQ+ addicts: you already have so much of the world against you while also battling your body and mind and that is severely easy. You probably have more strength in you than anyone has ever had. That should be commemorated. It should be Celebrated. Many of us know how drugs were introduced into lower socioeconomic and disenfranchised communities,  but in case you don't, blame our federal government. For intentionally instilling these substances into our communities so to make us sick, impotent, villainize us and kept under their heels. Being someone who has worked close to addicts, I'm aware of all the stigmas and antagonizing rhetoric spread around the disorder and disease of addiction. When you are at the mercy of substances, you will ultimately feel powerless. If you are an addict (of whatever...
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I'm Black, I'm gay, and I'm... conservative??? -wondaboysays

So yesterday I went on a date with a man who I'd been talking to for a couple of weeks. We sit down for drinks and like an hour into the conversation, topic of our political views comes up and THEN he tells me... he's conservative. I was like "OMG, this is it. I'm on a date with a Trump supporter... and he's BLACK. What do I do now?" Now, I know that what some people would've just got up and walked off, but I didn't. I'll be honest and say that I gave the man the platform to say his peace even though I knew I'd end up rebutting every single point he had. But my question is... why?? How??? How can a black person be in support of the hateful actions being done in our country. I know the economy has been trashed by our government officials, past and present, but the wealthy only wish to become richer and keep the underling classes poor.  If you believe in that, why would you be in favor of Trump for any reason? It's always republicans saying t...
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